In the support group meeting the other night we were discussing what it was like before and after an ADHD diagnoses. Afterwards I was pondering on how much my life has improved since my diagnoses and trying to figure out why my life has become significantly better.
I don’t think I can produce in a few hundred word blog the extent of the bedlam that my life had been up until that point and the frustration that I felt in every aspect of my life. I bombarded myself with negative thoughts, I’m an idiot, what is wrong with me, how did I forget that AGAIN, Niall why are you so stupid, why did I just say that, I hate myself, life is so boring, why can’t I keep friends, I hope nobody can see I’m a mess. All these thoughts were ingrained in my mind in Primary school and followed me all the way through to adulthood.
One of the main differences for me is that I no longer beat myself up for some of the behaviours that are just part of my ADHD. For instance when walking out of a restaurant forgetting to lift either my jacket, keys or mobile phone, which I’m guaranteed do EVERY SINGLE TIME, it’s still frustrating but now i go easy on myself. I also realize that I sometimes come across a bit like Father Dougal when I zone out of conversations and come back interrupting with something that has absolutely nothing do with what we have just been talking about, again these are quirks of my ADHD that I’ve come to accept, in fact I find it quite funny.
Through gaining knowledge of the condition and the difficulties that ADHD brings to my life it’s also extremely important that I recognize that my ADHD has given me some very unique qualities and I need to value and develop these strengths. For me ADHD isn’t an excuse to be rude, although ADHD can sometimes come across that way. Nor can I take my frustrations out on people; it’s my responsibility to change and adapt and by doing so it makes life easier for others and it certainly makes it easier for me. In the early days i wanted to explain to people about my ADHD so that they would understand me and accept me but today the most important thing is that I accept myself and most days i can do
and for me that’s the most important difference.
Niall now offers One to One support for people affected by ADHD support through Skype. If you wish to avail of this support service please contact Adult ADHD NI by Email – Niaadhd@gmail.com